Why "Believe in Yourself" is BULLSHIT Advice

Gasppppp!!! Did I really just say that?

I mean, come on, you've probably felt it too.

We're all so bombarded with these empty quotes like:

"Believe in Yourself" and "Just shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars".


Whenever I come across these over-the-top-cliches, I wind up the biggest eye-roll, you'd think my eyes were going to get stuck to my lids.

Maybe you save these quotes on your phone and take a glance at them from time to time as an act of self-reminder.

Maybe you even have them plastered on your bedroom wall to help you out in times of defeat.

That's all well and dandy! Heck, that's more than dandy! If it works for you then all the fucking power to you!

But truth be told, life hands a lot of bad and sour lemons our way - especially when you're doing everything you can to build a successful business.

If there's anything I'm sure about it's this...

Things are NOT going to work out the way you intended it to.

There will be countless moments where you feel like your brain is going to snap like a stale breadstick.

People are going to offer you back-handed compliments like "wait, you're a photographer or (insert your craft here)? That's so brave. I can never take a risk like that".

There will be moments that you feel your business is moving slower than an outdated internet explorer browser.

And after all that, you want me to just believe in myself?


How can that be possible if I have absolutely no results to show for? RIGHT?!

You know what I call this? I call it toxic positivity.

And don't get me wrong, I've been known to be as positive and as optimistic as a Tinky Winky Teletubby.

But in my opinion, toxic positivity is just as harmful as negativity.

Now I know you probably didn't click on this blog post to read my endless (yet entertaining) rant.

As a solution-oriented individual, here's my gift to you.

Hustle to believe in yourself just as much as you hustle in your business.

Believing in yourself is a hard learned skill. It's not a natural human instinct.

In fact it's the total opposite.

Our brains are designed to help us survive. It actively looks for problems to act as an unanticipated fire alarm to put you in a constant state of survival mode.

That's why: staying positive, being happy, and being confident, actually all goes against what your brain is biologically wired to do.

Believing in yourself doesn't just happen because of some quote you've seen waiting at a doctor's office while scrolling through your Instagram feed.

"Believing in yourself" is fucking hard WORK!

It's a little trigger in your brain that you MUST train.

You will never believe in yourself unless you work for it.

Sighhhh... alright Nadine, but how do I work for it?

OH-EM-GEE I'm so glad you asked (and let's pretend I'm not the one who typed that question having an imaginary conversation with myself).

Here's a handful of things that I do I'm sure will resonate with ya...

Firstly, I have a Whatsapp group with 2 individuals I hold near and dear to my heart: Hratch and Farah (you've probably heard about them from my other blogs here and here).

We share our wins every single day - no matter how big or small.

As three type-A-over-achieving individuals, immigrating to a new country and scraping off some 7 years of experience to completely start again from scratch, life has tested us in so many ways.

And believe me when I say, we were thrown so many bad lemons, we wouldn't be able to even make a decent tequila shot out of it.

So we started actively looking at the positive things in our day and celebrated the smallest win like it was part of a July 4th fireworks parade.

This little exercise empowers the "believe in yourself" muscle. It builds that momentum of feeling as indestructible as a raging hulk.

And the best thing?

Not to mention the fact that I started to feel closer than ever to these extraordinary humans, but I also have an archive of all of our wins stored in one place that I can reference back to whenever I felt down.

The other thing that I do?

I take screenshots of every single positive interaction I've had with a client, a follower, or even an old friend.

I have it all organized in separate folders too!

And it could be something as simple as "I want you to know I think you're amazing".

I'm gonna screenshot erryyyything!

Wanna know why?

Because in those moments of feeling lost, stuck or purposeless, I go back to these snapshots to remind myself why I'm doing what I'm doing.

It doesn't have to be a full-blown raving review or testimonial. Just even a simple comment in passing will suffice.

So if you ever stumble across the "believe in yourself" cliched-type-quotes ever again, just remember that even those sayings require a great deal of work and grit.

It won't just spontaneously happen because you've printed it out or saved it as your laptop screensaver.

Now I wanna hear from you! Do you feel these quotes help you, deter you or you're just plain indifferent about them? Let me know in the comments below!

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